Saturday, April 16, 2011

1 year old...

Today, April 15, 2011, is the eve of your birthday. You are one year old…one year has passed. Fifty-two weeks, twelve months, five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. I find myself really struggling with this concept….for so long, you were just a dream, a wish and a hope and now we’ve already had one year with you and it seems surreal. I clearly remember in full color picture in my mind your first breath on this earth…that very first moment of your life. You came out and were laid on my chest, you and I locked eyes and in a moment I became a mother and you were my son. You looked frightened and then you grabbed my finger…your five little fingers grasped mine and you took a deep breath, slowed your breathing and nuzzled your baby face into my chest. You were familiar with me and I knew in that moment you had my heart forever. We had waited so long for that moment Liam…the moment when we could finally meet after 9 long months of you growing and forming in my belly. Sometimes I wish you were still rolling and tumbling under my skin as I dream of what you’d be like. But then I look at you now, a year later, and realize I am so amazed at the gift of you. God’s gift to us and the whole family….you truly are a miracle that started as the size of a poppy seed. You have changed Daddy and I for the better. You make us better people and you make us better for each other. You have shown us the meaning of love in ways we never could imagine. Your birth reaffirmed our faith and helped us to look towards the future. Your life is a precious gift that just continues to grow and give over and over again every day we wake up in your presence. My heart swells to see you smile, laugh, dance and even cry. I love being able to hold and comfort you when are hurting or sad-knowing that you rely on me to make you feel better is humbling. I love our special time together at night when I get to sing you to sleep and brush your hair with my hand as you drift off to dreamland. I love watching you wake in the morning just like your daddy….stubborn at first and a tad grouchy but as soon as you sit up you are bright eyed and ready to face the day. From the moment your little feet hit the ground you are ready to discover. Your passion for learning excites me and I love introducing you to new foods, smells, sights and textures. You are a lover of music, bobbing your head at the second you hear a note played. You are the true definition of a rough and tumble little boy, not afraid to take a risk and overstep boundaries. You are infatuated with books and I hope that we can develop that love of reading in you for a lifetime. You love being outside, getting dirty and playing in the grass. I hope we can continue to show you the world in that way, let you learn your own boundaries and instill a sense of pride in you for taking those small moments and making them matter. Son, I want you to know that even at this young age and very beginning stages of your life, I believe in you and your abilities whole heartedly. I know that God developed you to change the world and every day I pray that God will make you a world changer and send you on a clear path with definition and purpose. Be confident in your abilities, don’t be bashful or shy, proud of where you came from and know that Daddy and I always have your back and support you with every ounce of our being. Love Jesus with your whole heart and soul. Surrender you fear and worries to Him and He alone will make your paths straight and open doors you could never imagine. Be a man of honor, courage and strength and be the one to set the example for your friends and loved ones. Be inspiring, encouraging and helpful to others…giving back gives you peace and develops your character as a person.
As we close this chapter of your life and look towards the next year ahead, know that I will miss your true newborn/baby year. The helplessness that only Daddy and I could provide help for. Knowing that you relied on us for everything and that our faces were the first ones you ever recognized. Your sweet baby smells and yes even late nights changing wet or stinky diapers. Hearing your first laughs, watching your first smile, your first crawls, claps, screams, tears and discoveries. Seeing your mind work as you learned about new toys, new things in our house and new people. Watching Grammie, Grandpa, Nani and Pops with you and the joy in their new grandson. You are their gift, their promise of the next phase of their lives and their renewal as they watch us raise you. I am ready baby boy…ready for year 2….ready to hear you speak your first words, ready to watch you walk, run and jump. To see you feed yourself, learn how to swim this summer, get dirty in our yard, wrestle with daddy, make new friends, discover the holidays through your toddler eyes. I love you with my whole heart and soul Liam. You will forever be my tiny newborn who fit snuggly in my arms even as you grow in the man God wants you to become. Happy birthday my love….Happy Birthday!