I don’t even know where to begin….I realized today when I checked my blog that I had not written in 2 months. I want to do this little blog justice and I want it to be a place where Liam can look back and see where he comes from and how he’s grown.
I have allowed time and stress and so many other factors take away from this outlet that I love so much so I’ve decided it’s my goal going into 2011 to really dive in and make it my hobby. Being a full time wife and mommy doesn’t allow for many hobbies but this is one I love and I don’t want to lose the passion I have for writing and getting my thoughts on paper. It has been quite a year. A year filled with ups and downs, joys and sadness, hardship and triumphs. All the while I have stuck to one truth…My Lord is watching us thru it all. I have become a stronger believer in my Savior than ever before in this year alone. Even more so in the past 6 months than any other time in my life. Many of my readers and even close friends and family don’t realize exactly where we’ve been or what has been happening in our little family. So I want to use this long winded journal post to fill everyone in.
2010 has been the best year of our lives. 2010 has been the hardest year of our lives.
January-I was 7th months pregnant with a sick husband in the hospital and trying to stay afloat at work. That basically sums up the start of the year.
February-We moved to our new home….our awesome new home with the help of our amazing small group and were more enveloped in Elevation church than ever.
March-We had a baby shower, I was hugely pregnant and as we anxiously awaited his arrival, I was getting sick…almost pre-eclamptic, I was put on bedrest for a month and didn’t return to work for 4 months. Bedrest and sleepless nights can lead to some strange places mentally. This was the start of the most joyous and most sad time ever. This began the most reflective, thought producing time I’ve ever endured. And it was the best thing that has ever happened to me…..even though in its midst I couldn’t see it.
April-Our son was born. William Brafman Phillips. All 8lbs of him. Perfect. Beautiful. The epitome of God’s love pouring out all at once. He was born on Friday, April 16th after 12 hours of labor at Presbyterian hospital in Charlotte, NC at 6:49 in the evening. He was born to a room filled with the sounds of Dave Matthews Band. The only people for a long while that he heard or saw were Adam and I and it was perfect. Our little family-the start of our next journey. The start of our new life. Overwhelming joy. Happy Tears.
May-August were truly a complete blur…I was home on maternity leave….I honestly hardly remember this part of the year. I was overjoyed and sad all at once. I didn’t know why. I was both tired and energetic. I was an emotional, hormonal mess even in the midst of the happiest time of my life. I felt joy and I felt deep heartfelt aching. We were just trying to stay afloat-a new schedule, a new baby, a new life, a new balance of responsibility. My husband truly became my hero during this period. He is now hands down the strongest, most generous, God given gift I know. He went thru a lot with me during these months. Things that a lot of couples would not make it thru. We realized at the end of it after finally praying it thru that I needed to talk to someone. That someone helped me to realize that I was suffering from postpartum and I was digging a deep hole that I needed help to climb out of. This time also allowed me to reflect on my true calling. To finally take a step back and realize that I needed a new path. That as I was growing as a woman, a wife and a mother that God was placing BIG plans on my heart that I was scared to follow. I thank Him daily now for continuing to speak those truths into my life. He did not give up on me and I needed that more than ever. God is my peace, God is my provider, God is my portion. I can fully say after this time that I trust in Him and Him alone….He makes me who I am. He makes me strong. He has given me a leader of a husband, blessed me with an angel baby, and we are good. Our life is good. Anxiety, depression, thoughts that the enemy places in my way will no longer have a stronghold. God is over all of those worries and He is in control.
September….ahhhh fall!!! A time of change….for certain!
Leaves turning, colors changing, my heart stirring stronger than I have ever felt. A rewewed energy, a clearing of the fogginess, a light at the end of the tunnel. A growing healthy child….happy, laughing, saying mama, becoming independent, joyous little boy.
A new found love for Adam. Respect and trust. No fear or anxiety. Look what we have created together. Look at all we have ahead. This is an exciting time!
Health wise was a bit scary-Liam was hospitalized for an eye infection called Orbital Cellulitis but was luckily all healed up pretty fast. I end up in the hospital ER one night for a stomach bug. But Adam’s health is great because of Remicade-continued treatments that help his joints and stomach condition. Loving his new job! An amazing teacher, soon to be coach, leader of FCA for his high school. I have never been prouder of him than I am right now. He’s becoming a wonderful man of God right before my eyes. God is turning something in him too….I can see it everyday!
October-we have a 6 month old! Liam has surgery for a small birth defect….comes out okay and is just perfect! Halloween, holidays upon us, cold nights, cozy Saturday’s, Farmer’s Market, time with family. And the talk of a new career. Possibilities are endless. I am not afraid. I am stepping out…I am taking a leap of faith for the first time in my life. I am trusting God to open doors.
November….Thanksgiving in Charlotte, dear friends, close neighborhood, The Hamilton’s, The Ward’s and The Loeffler’s-truly God’s gift in our lives. These are amazing people and we are so lucky! Liam is growing like a weed. Eating solids, starting to crawl, laughter all the time, Da-Da, Ma-Ma, standing up with support, playing with his puppies, a cuddlebug.
December….Here we are….whew what a year! We made it. We are healthy, happy and better than ever! Liam’s 1st Christmas is coming!!! Family will be here. God opened doors and I start my new job on December 9th. I will be with people…where my heart longs to be. God has provided. Even when we strayed He has stayed. Here is to 2011….I am not afraid, I am happier than I have ever been. I am one blessed girl. Bring it on!!!