Growing God's Gift

Liam at 13 months

2011-05-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sweet boy....you are 13 months old now! I'm still working on getting pictures together of your 1st birthday party....you were such a good boy and had a great time with all of your buddies!
At 13 months you are 26 pounds and all boy...rough and tumble for sure! You have moved up to a new class called the Kittens at school....Ms. Betty, Ms. Jane and Ms. Keisha are your teachers. You have so much more room to play and move in your new class where hopefully within weeks you'll be taking your first steps...you are so close just not quite sure enough to let go and just be free. You no longer sleep in a crib at school but you're very own little cot where you are averaging 3 hour naps daily. You are also sitting at cute little tables to eat....no more highchair at school for you! Your favorite foods right now include goldfish crackers, strawberries, bananas, spaghetti, waffles with peanut butter and anything with apples! You have also been quite the chatter box...new words this month are: "ball", "duck duck" (bathtub rubber duckie), "daddy", "mama", "bye bye" and "sheeshush" which is your way of saying Jesus!
We're also dealing with a bit of sickness lately....in the past few months you have been fighting something called RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus). RSV showed up suddenly with fevers, runny noses, heavy coughing and wheezing in your chest. You haven't slept well and daddy and I have been very worried about you. For about 2 months now we've been doing breathing treatments for you everyday and thought we had seen a great turn for the better. About 2 weeks ago, the symptoms flared up again.....our poor little man just off his game and missing the sparkle in his eye and smirky little grin. We finally took you back to the doctor today and got the best explanation of what we need to do long term to help you get better. RSV in young children can cause lung tissues to be sensitive to outside pollutants, allergens and colds. This is true esp in babies under 2 years old...the doctor described RSV as a forest fire.....it comes in and does alot of damage at once and over time it goes out but sometimes there are little embers that can flare up again until eventually they are all put out and it goes away completely. The only cure for RSV is time....and until then, any little colds or exposure to irritants/allergens can turn into things that cause wheezing, fevers,etc. We do have things that can help....for the next 3 months Daddy and I will be helping you take medicines to help you breathe better 2 times a day...Mommy will give you medicines before we take you to school, sometimes your teachers will have to give you medicines at school after you play outside and then at night, we'll do your medicines again before you go night night. The doctor also told us today this could lead to asthma down the road but we'll deal with that when and if we do face it. We did get a great report on your ears....no new ear infections and your tubes look to still be in place and working well!
As I write this Liam, I am hopeful...You are a trooper my little sunshine.....you have been through so much health wise in your first year....Everyone tells mommy this is good because it means you're getting it out of your system now instead of waiting until kindergarten. RSV is just a temporary setback in your awesome growth and development. You are excelling in more ways than we can count in every other aspect of your world. We will beat this little stubborn virus...Daddy and I hate to see you upset, in pain, tired from all the medicines and such but we know you can beat this! You have your daddy's determination...and I am here my love to snuggle and cuddle as much as you need if you're feeling yucky. One day we'll all look back on this time and be able to say we got out ok....God is watching over you my love and He alone will heal you and make your path straight!
I love you my sweet boy....so very much!

1 year old...

2011-04-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today, April 15, 2011, is the eve of your birthday. You are one year old…one year has passed. Fifty-two weeks, twelve months, five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. I find myself really struggling with this concept….for so long, you were just a dream, a wish and a hope and now we’ve already had one year with you and it seems surreal. I clearly remember in full color picture in my mind your first breath on this earth…that very first moment of your life. You came out and were laid on my chest, you and I locked eyes and in a moment I became a mother and you were my son. You looked frightened and then you grabbed my finger…your five little fingers grasped mine and you took a deep breath, slowed your breathing and nuzzled your baby face into my chest. You were familiar with me and I knew in that moment you had my heart forever. We had waited so long for that moment Liam…the moment when we could finally meet after 9 long months of you growing and forming in my belly. Sometimes I wish you were still rolling and tumbling under my skin as I dream of what you’d be like. But then I look at you now, a year later, and realize I am so amazed at the gift of you. God’s gift to us and the whole family….you truly are a miracle that started as the size of a poppy seed. You have changed Daddy and I for the better. You make us better people and you make us better for each other. You have shown us the meaning of love in ways we never could imagine. Your birth reaffirmed our faith and helped us to look towards the future. Your life is a precious gift that just continues to grow and give over and over again every day we wake up in your presence. My heart swells to see you smile, laugh, dance and even cry. I love being able to hold and comfort you when are hurting or sad-knowing that you rely on me to make you feel better is humbling. I love our special time together at night when I get to sing you to sleep and brush your hair with my hand as you drift off to dreamland. I love watching you wake in the morning just like your daddy….stubborn at first and a tad grouchy but as soon as you sit up you are bright eyed and ready to face the day. From the moment your little feet hit the ground you are ready to discover. Your passion for learning excites me and I love introducing you to new foods, smells, sights and textures. You are a lover of music, bobbing your head at the second you hear a note played. You are the true definition of a rough and tumble little boy, not afraid to take a risk and overstep boundaries. You are infatuated with books and I hope that we can develop that love of reading in you for a lifetime. You love being outside, getting dirty and playing in the grass. I hope we can continue to show you the world in that way, let you learn your own boundaries and instill a sense of pride in you for taking those small moments and making them matter. Son, I want you to know that even at this young age and very beginning stages of your life, I believe in you and your abilities whole heartedly. I know that God developed you to change the world and every day I pray that God will make you a world changer and send you on a clear path with definition and purpose. Be confident in your abilities, don’t be bashful or shy, proud of where you came from and know that Daddy and I always have your back and support you with every ounce of our being. Love Jesus with your whole heart and soul. Surrender you fear and worries to Him and He alone will make your paths straight and open doors you could never imagine. Be a man of honor, courage and strength and be the one to set the example for your friends and loved ones. Be inspiring, encouraging and helpful to others…giving back gives you peace and develops your character as a person.

As we close this chapter of your life and look towards the next year ahead, know that I will miss your true newborn/baby year. The helplessness that only Daddy and I could provide help for. Knowing that you relied on us for everything and that our faces were the first ones you ever recognized. Your sweet baby smells and yes even late nights changing wet or stinky diapers. Hearing your first laughs, watching your first smile, your first crawls, claps, screams, tears and discoveries. Seeing your mind work as you learned about new toys, new things in our house and new people. Watching Grammie, Grandpa, Nani and Pops with you and the joy in their new grandson. You are their gift, their promise of the next phase of their lives and their renewal as they watch us raise you. I am ready baby boy…ready for year 2….ready to hear you speak your first words, ready to watch you walk, run and jump. To see you feed yourself, learn how to swim this summer, get dirty in our yard, wrestle with daddy, make new friends, discover the holidays through your toddler eyes. I love you with my whole heart and soul Liam. You will forever be my tiny newborn who fit snuggly in my arms even as you grow in the man God wants you to become. Happy birthday my love….Happy Birthday!

This sums it all up..

2011-01-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

The joy we felt last night celebrating the New Year is summed up in this one single shot of Liam. The month of December has been the best of 2010 by far. Watching the joy of the holidays through the imagination of our son was something I will never forget. His joy was contagious, his curiosity was infectious and his laughter was priceless. To know that God blessed us with the gift of His Son during the Christmas season and then some 2000 years later, we were blessed with this son to watch during Christmas and to celebrate is beyond anything I can even begin to comprehend. Per my last post, it was definitely a crazy 2010. But last night as the clock struck 12 we heard our sleeping boy stirring in his crib upstairs and we just knew he had to join in our celebrating. He was the best gift of this year and he had to be there to help us say goodbye to the year he was born and help us ring in the year he will continue to grow into a little man. Adam ran upstairs while I entertained friends and watched the ball drop....and then it hit me...the year my son was born is over. It was a weird feeling to think I could say I gave birth "last year" but I was grinning ear to ear with the next thought of Liam turning 1 "this year." And I watched as Adam brought Liam down the stairs to join in our festivities and I paused with him on the stairs. His eyes were filled with tears and I wiped one away as it rolled down his cheek. I just knew the feeling had overwhelmed him and he said "I just lost it upstairs...I picked him up out of his crib and it was just one of those moments when it hit me that he is my son." We both just stood there and grinned, our sleepy boy in his green footie pj's with his hair messy from his crib, and we had a family moment....just the 3 of us...2010 was over....the year of challenge, sickness, happiness, depression, tears, smiles and so much more. And we were all together to celebrate the start of a new year together....our first "full" year with our sweet boy....and it was time to just smile, hug our boy, kiss my sweet husband and enjoy the moment. We stayed up long after our friends left....and just chatted about Liam....as he lunged towards us with huge sloppy wet kisses and smiles that could make the most sad person smile. Trading stories back and forth about our year and how much Liam has changed us for the better. So much joy, joy beyond measure....

Phillips 2010 Wrapup

2010-12-06T17:01:00.000-08:00

I don’t even know where to begin….I realized today when I checked my blog that I had not written in 2 months. I want to do this little blog justice and I want it to be a place where Liam can look back and see where he comes from and how he’s grown.

I have allowed time and stress and so many other factors take away from this outlet that I love so much so I’ve decided it’s my goal going into 2011 to really dive in and make it my hobby. Being a full time wife and mommy doesn’t allow for many hobbies but this is one I love and I don’t want to lose the passion I have for writing and getting my thoughts on paper. It has been quite a year. A year filled with ups and downs, joys and sadness, hardship and triumphs. All the while I have stuck to one truth…My Lord is watching us thru it all. I have become a stronger believer in my Savior than ever before in this year alone. Even more so in the past 6 months than any other time in my life. Many of my readers and even close friends and family don’t realize exactly where we’ve been or what has been happening in our little family. So I want to use this long winded journal post to fill everyone in.

2010 has been the best year of our lives. 2010 has been the hardest year of our lives.

January-I was 7^th months pregnant with a sick husband in the hospital and trying to stay afloat at work. That basically sums up the start of the year.

February-We moved to our new home….our awesome new home with the help of our amazing small group and were more enveloped in Elevation church than ever.

March-We had a baby shower, I was hugely pregnant and as we anxiously awaited his arrival, I was getting sick…almost pre-eclamptic, I was put on bedrest for a month and didn’t return to work for 4 months. Bedrest and sleepless nights can lead to some strange places mentally. This was the start of the most joyous and most sad time ever. This began the most reflective, thought producing time I’ve ever endured. And it was the best thing that has ever happened to me…..even though in its midst I couldn’t see it.

April-Our son was born. William Brafman Phillips. All 8lbs of him. Perfect. Beautiful. The epitome of God’s love pouring out all at once. He was born on Friday, April 16^th after 12 hours of labor at Presbyterian hospital in Charlotte, NC at 6:49 in the evening. He was born to a room filled with the sounds of Dave Matthews Band. The only people for a long while that he heard or saw were Adam and I and it was perfect. Our little family-the start of our next journey. The start of our new life. Overwhelming joy. Happy Tears.

May-August were truly a complete blur…I was home on maternity leave….I honestly hardly remember this part of the year. I was overjoyed and sad all at once. I didn’t know why. I was both tired and energetic. I was an emotional, hormonal mess even in the midst of the happiest time of my life. I felt joy and I felt deep heartfelt aching. We were just trying to stay afloat-a new schedule, a new baby, a new life, a new balance of responsibility. My husband truly became my hero during this period. He is now hands down the strongest, most generous, God given gift I know. He went thru a lot with me during these months. Things that a lot of couples would not make it thru. We realized at the end of it after finally praying it thru that I needed to talk to someone. That someone helped me to realize that I was suffering from postpartum and I was digging a deep hole that I needed help to climb out of. This time also allowed me to reflect on my true calling. To finally take a step back and realize that I needed a new path. That as I was growing as a woman, a wife and a mother that God was placing BIG plans on my heart that I was scared to follow. I thank Him daily now for continuing to speak those truths into my life. He did not give up on me and I needed that more than ever. God is my peace, God is my provider, God is my portion. I can fully say after this time that I trust in Him and Him alone….He makes me who I am. He makes me strong. He has given me a leader of a husband, blessed me with an angel baby, and we are good. Our life is good. Anxiety, depression, thoughts that the enemy places in my way will no longer have a stronghold. God is over all of those worries and He is in control.

September….ahhhh fall!!! A time of change….for certain!

Leaves turning, colors changing, my heart stirring stronger than I have ever felt. A rewewed energy, a clearing of the fogginess, a light at the end of the tunnel. A growing healthy child….happy, laughing, saying mama, becoming independent, joyous little boy.

A new found love for Adam. Respect and trust. No fear or anxiety. Look what we have created together. Look at all we have ahead. This is an exciting time!

Health wise was a bit scary-Liam was hospitalized for an eye infection called Orbital Cellulitis but was luckily all healed up pretty fast. I end up in the hospital ER one night for a stomach bug. But Adam’s health is great because of Remicade-continued treatments that help his joints and stomach condition. Loving his new job! An amazing teacher, soon to be coach, leader of FCA for his high school. I have never been prouder of him than I am right now. He’s becoming a wonderful man of God right before my eyes. God is turning something in him too….I can see it everyday!

October-we have a 6 month old! Liam has surgery for a small birth defect….comes out okay and is just perfect! Halloween, holidays upon us, cold nights, cozy Saturday’s, Farmer’s Market, time with family. And the talk of a new career. Possibilities are endless. I am not afraid. I am stepping out…I am taking a leap of faith for the first time in my life. I am trusting God to open doors.

November….Thanksgiving in Charlotte, dear friends, close neighborhood, The Hamilton’s, The Ward’s and The Loeffler’s-truly God’s gift in our lives. These are amazing people and we are so lucky! Liam is growing like a weed. Eating solids, starting to crawl, laughter all the time, Da-Da, Ma-Ma, standing up with support, playing with his puppies, a cuddlebug.

December….Here we are….whew what a year! We made it. We are healthy, happy and better than ever! Liam’s 1^st Christmas is coming!!! Family will be here. God opened doors and I start my new job on December 9^th. I will be with people…where my heart longs to be. God has provided. Even when we strayed He has stayed. Here is to 2011….I am not afraid, I am happier than I have ever been. I am one blessed girl. Bring it on!!!

The pumpkin patch.....

2010-10-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

Liam,
This week Daddy and I got you all dressed up in your "my first Halloween" outfit and took you on an adventure.

Near our house, there is a magical place called Hodges Dairy Farm. Everyday that mommy goes to work she gets to drive by this place and anxiously await each season change as they always have the most wonderful events depending on the time of year. The farm is HUGE....acres after acres of sunflower fields, a big red barn, an old farm house, horses, cows, chickens, pigs, goats, fresh vegetables. This is mommy's favorite time of year there because they have a pumpkin patch that is available to visit 7 days a week during the entire month of October. They have pony rides, a petting zoo and fresh mums the size of bushes. It was the perfect fall day....crisp air, bright blue skies without a cloud in sight so we set out on an adventure to introduce you to the world of pumpkins and all things fall.....You were amazed!

You wanted to touch everything in sight...you squealed in delight as you saw your first pumpkin....your laughter was infectious...Daddy and I just marveled over watching your mind working a mile a minute. We captured the moments in photos but I will never forget your first fall...that first vision you had of a holiday and what it means to celebrate something with family. I love you my little punkin.....I have a feeling fall is going to be your season!

Liam at 5 months.....

2010-09-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

Punkin-
You are now 5 months old…..I know I say it all the time but words just can’t express how fast this time is passing. One day you’re so dependent on me for everything and the next you’re holding your own bottle and finding your own way to entertain yourself in the mornings as mommy gets ready for work. This really is a special time my little man…The fall is coming….I can feel it….I wish you realized just what this means but one day it will all make sense. Just know that mommy and daddy are super excited to share this time of year with you. Fall means change… Fall means color….crunchy leaves underfoot….warm cozies to bed…..slippers on your feet…..hot cocoa around a fire with friends….Football……warm chili on a cool day…..snuggling under a blanket…crisp nights and cool mornings…..lightweight coats…..trips to the mountains… pumpkin patch…pumpkin bread….sweaters….scarves….static in your hair….pumpkin spice anything…smell of homemade goodies throughout the house…football……..wait did I already say that? Football? Oh yeah that is the most important!! We are a football family son….Daddy is a Raiders fan and one day that will become all very clear to you and it’s meaning and Mommy is a Panthers fan……Some of our best memories revolve around football, around fall weather, around lazy Sundays on the couch snuggled up together under a blanket….and now, for the first time, you get to experience it all with us. We can’t wait to watch you in this season…..I have a feeling you’re going to be a fall loving baby…..you’re such a big snuggle bug already…..Plus, we’ve recently learned you just love squash-actually your new favorite food….so you’re speaking right to mommy’s heart….I see lots of yummy squash casserole being shared between us….daddy doesn’t like it so much but we’ll eat it a lot! You’re doing great in daycare….sleeping well, playing well and just an overall happy kid. You love green beans, peas, squash, pears, banana and peaches. You are eating oatmeal twice a day and you still love showers before bed. Your favorite toy right now is anything that is soft-because EVERYTHING is going into your mouth-so you like to chew on it or throw it and pick it back up. You think daddy is so funny. Your laugh is infectious and beautiful. You’ve started scooting like crazy and your butt shoots up in the air like you want to push off to crawl and then it falls back down….You’re so close….we’re gonna have a mover on our hands in no time! You’re growing like a weed…I can barely keep you in 6 months clothes right now.
And years from now when you read this and understand it…. Daddy and I just want you to know that we love you…..you’ll always be loved….you are amazing…you are funny…you are the sunshine in our days….and you have changed our lives for the better. We love you little man!

Liam at 4 months

2010-08-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

Baby boy....
you're changing every day right in front of our face.....you're getting so big and starting to grow further and further from our little newborn. I think this is our favorite time with you so far....you are funny, you have a personality, you are all smiles, a happy child to say the least, you love your daddy with all of your heart and think he is the funniest thing you've ever seen and you like to cuddle with mommy and bury your face on my shoulder when you first meet someone because you're bashful. At your four month appointment, you weighed 16 lbs 10.5 ounces and were 25.75 inches long. You're in the 75th-90th percentile for height, weight and head size. Dr. McDowell gave us the "ok" to start you on solids and you are taking to them wonderfully. Rice cereal is not your favorite but you love oatmeal. So far we've also introduced green peas, squash and green beans and you've liked all of them! Mommy is determined you will be a fruit and veggie eater so as you get older we can go to the farmers market on the weekends and pick out yummy foods to share. You love tummy time and are scooting your way across the floor....you'll be crawling in no time! You've also started daycare at Presbyterian CDC! You are in the Bears class and your teachers are Mrs. Tina and Mrs. Star.....So far you like playing bubbles and reading books there and are starting to learn to finally sleep in a crib.

You've also discovered Buster and Maggie recently....You think it's so funny when Maggie comes to give you kisses and you watch them play for long periods at a time. You've started reaching for them to touch their faces and you laugh at them when they are near you. Your favorite toy is a red square teething ring....you are grasping it with both hands and you love to just hold it while you sit in your bumbo seat and look around.
You are growing so fast punkin.....Daddy and Mommy are amazed at how fast you've changed and how much you've grown. We can't wait to watch you learn to sit up soon and start crawling.

We love you baby boy! You are a true gift from God.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder....

2010-08-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

It has been a whirlwind few weeks at the Phillips house and I have a ton to blog about but I want to take a second today to focus on my husband.
Last year, Adam decided he'd been in engineering long enough and wanted to follow his passion.....he became a teacher and busted his butt to get it done! I've never seen someone so determined.....I have never been more proud of him.

Today, he left for Duke University for 2 full weeks.....the longest we've ever been apart in our 7 years together.....the hardest thing I've ever had to do....watch him say goodbye to not only me but to Liam knowing he wouldn't see his baby boy for 2 full weeks at such a young age. He is there for training for the upcoming school year-2 intense weeks-full 8 hour days of non stop classes and labs just to learn what he'll teach his kids this year. I am so very proud of him.....sad for me because he's my best friend and I never want to leave his side but so proud of all he's doing and his hard work.
I am of course teary eyed as I write this.....I will miss his laugh and his smiles when I get home after a long day at work....I will miss watching him with Liam and how wonderful he is.
I want to take this chance to thank him.....for the sacrifices he made while I was pregnant, on bed rest and as as he stayed home this summer on his "vacation" and played not only daddy but house husband as well. He has stepped up to the plate while I had to return to work and I have never seen someone give so sacrificially of his time and energy. Adam, you are a blessing to us...Liam and I will be okay here without you but we don't want you to think for a second that we don't miss you. Thank you for leading this family, thank you for working so hard to provide....we can't wait for you to return so we can spend the 2nd half of this year together....just the 3 of us.....for the next phase....a new school year and a baby boy watching his daddy lead others....a wonderful example you set for our son....He is lucky to have you as a daddy and I am blessed to call you husband and best friend.

Rock your training honey.....you were meant to do this! God gave you an amazing gift....run with those talents and don't look back!
I love you so very much and I'm counting down the days!

where has the time gone.....

2010-07-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

baby boy you are 12 weeks old this week.....the last time I was able to write you were half this age and my how you have changed. You are curious of your surroundings, you are smiling now and it's gorgeous in every way, you are funny and you laugh at things and you think mommy and daddy are the greatest things since sliced bread. We are so in love with you little monkey....each day with you is a new adventure and we still pinch ourselves to realize that you are ours. At your last doctors appointment you were almost 16 pounds and had grown almost 2 1/2 inches. You are no longer in your newborn sized clothes and starting at 2 months you were already wearing things labeled 3-6 months. Your favorite toy is your pal, Mort the Monkey and your jungle gym play mat. You are starting to roll over and have definitely started the teething process. You are eating both formula and breast milk and still get up once a night for a few minutes of some quality quiet time with mommy. Daddy is home taking care of you this summer while mommy is back at work and he is doing such a good job. You love your bath time but even more so you love taking a shower....you get so excited when the water rushes over your head and you coo the whole time. Your little buddha belly, strong hands and deep blue eyes are breathtaking. Your favorite "tv show" is the ceiling fan and you could look up and around for hours if we'd let you. (mommy is secretly concerned you're doing damage to your neck...haa)
We are so blessed by you Liam! God truly knew what he was doing when he gave us you as a son....you are perfect in every way and we couldn't ask for a better baby. We can't wait to see where you take us next !
We love you punkin!

6 weeks old....

2010-06-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

You are six weeks old monkey! My have you changed in such a short amount of time. At your one month appointment we found out you had grown so much! You were 11 pounds and 22 inches long and Dr. McDowell says you are right on schedule and eating well. You even had your first shot....I think mommy was more scared than you but we all made it through okay! You have definitely started showing your personality as well. You are funny....you love ceiling fans, your monkey on your jungle gym and playing with mommy and daddy. Your newest trick is standing...we hold your arms but you are so strong that you push right up and get the most excited, accomplished look on your face when you reach the top of your stance. You sleep less during the day and are so active and holding your head up so well. You love the outdoors....as soon as we sit on our front porch at night you "coo" at everything and look mesmerized at your surroundings. Daddy and I sit and dream about all the things you could be when you grow up....you love thunderstorms...maybe a meteorologist? You love music....maybe a guitar player? who knows?
Over Memorial Day weekend, you and Mommy went on a road trip to Grammie and Grandpa's house in Cary. You did so well in the car and slept the whole drive there and the entire drive back. We had so much fun playing with Grandpa, Grammie and Uncle Pat and you even met some of your great aunts and uncles.
We are so blessed by you little man....you make us proud to be your mommy and daddy. We can't wait to watch you grow over this next month and we are anticipating smiling and laughing soon!

We love you Liam!

3 weeks....

2010-05-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

Today Liam is 3 weeks old...sometimes I still stare at him in awe that he's even here....I can't believe we've been blessed with this angel. I even have thoughts sometimes like "how did one little fertilized egg the size of a pin head turn into these sweet little ears, this perfect little nose,etc." I can't wrap my head around his creation and I can't stop my heart from swelling beyond its borders with love for him. Sometimes it feels like he's always been with us and then I write he's only 3 weeks old today and it blows me away.
At three weeks, he's starting to finally get on a good schedule. He sleeps at 3-5 hour stretches just depending on his mood that day and he's eating like a champ. Breastfeeding is going incredibly well and I'm starting to get a little nervous about when I return to work that somehow it will mess that process up. Hopefully I can start to establish a schedule with that as well so when I do go back we have a smooth transition. He's also a very strong little boy already. Constantly gripping our fingers, kicking his legs and holding his head up a lot!
He makes the funniest faces and I keep thinking I see a smile creeping in when we "talk" to each other. I also love his songs...he sings....honestly he does....his cooing sounds like a song....the boy is starting his music career already! Makes a mama proud!

This weekend is Mother's Day.....I can't believe I can celebrate this holiday....I'm a mother...holy cow that sounds weird. I am so blessed to mother this child....I heard a great quote the other day.....That "children are not ours...they belong to God but that God chooses earthly guardians to watch over and teach his angels until He can care for them." I am so honored to be Liam's guardian, his mother, his cheerleader.....He is certainly my perfect angel, my monkey, my sweet baby, my son.

Liam's arrival....

2010-04-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

We're a little over a week into this new life with Liam and I haven't until now figured out when I can put him down long enough to get on the computer. We're working out the details everyday and are so in awe of this miracle that has been placed before us.
On Friday, April 16th, I woke with stabbing back pains at about 6:30am....I tried to ride them out for awhile but realized a shower sounded great. Adam had already headed out to work that morning so I was alone to figure this out for a bit. Was it the real thing? After weeks of being on bedrest and false contractions, I knew this was different when I was nearly brought to my knees in the shower from the pain. I called Katie, my sister-in-law/doula, and she was on her way to help. I remember calling Adam and saying "honey, I think this is the real thing....we're going to meet our baby boy today." I could sense both the excitement and fear in his voice and he was working on making his way back home. For the next hour, I sat downstairs alone on my yoga ball....it was the only thing that I could sit on for any relief and I breathed through every contraction and wave that followed. They seemed pretty easy at the time but I was definitely concerned that I felt nothing in my belly-just all in my back. By the time Katie and Adam arrived I was having them every 5 minutes for an hour so we decided it was time to call the doc.
When I arrived to the doctors office, I was in so much pain I had to stop along the way to breathe through some contractions before we could even get on the elevator. This little man was determined to get out quick!
I was still only 3cm and 90% effaced at the doctors office but Dr. Rogers decided to admit us anyway to the hospital and was fairly certain we'd have a baby by the end of the day at the rate I was progressing.
Within 2 hours, we were settled into our room in Labor and Delivery and I had already progressed to 4 1/2 centimeters. The pain was unbearable.....I finally had to ask for an epidural....I think if I'd had a "normal" labor with no back pain it might have been a bit different but I was down for the count and feeling like I had a stabbing knife in my back with every contraction. Within minutes, I was being prepped for my epi and as soon as it took effect I was a new woman. I was even able to catch a quick nap as we waited. Within 2 hours, I had progressed to 6 centimeters and again 2 hours later, the nurses were telling us "You're at 10!!! It's time to prep you to push!" We couldn't believe it-I clearly remember the look on Adam's face-one of sheer disbelief and excitement all at once....it all had happened so fast and we were about to see our Liam face to face finally.
By this point, I couldn't feel a thing.....I do remember after pushing that I said out loud..."why was that so easy?"
Dr. Rogers arrived.....they told me to push and even at one point to slow down because he was making his debut so fast! Within 30 minutes, I was holding Liam in my arms....We had specifically asked for nothing to be done to him for a long time....we wanted to savor the moment so he was placed on my bare skin right out of the womb. I remember looking to my left and seeing Adam weeping....tears of happiness and joy and I clearly remember Liam laying down on my chest, and gripping my fingers with his little hands while looking up at me with his big blue eyes. I was enamored, infatuated and so in love all at once. The feelings are hard to describe....had I really just done that? How was that just inside of me and now 2 seconds later I'm holding his hands? The next hour was a bit of a blur....Adam cut the cord and was able to give Liam his first bath. We have it all on tape and it was the sweetest of sweet moments. We then took time, just the 3 of us, as a family before any other family or friends were allowed in the room. We played Dave Matthews Band on repeat in the background and just stared in awe of our little miracle.
Liam's birth was incredible....couldn't have asked for a better experience....all the docs and nurses were amazing and now we have this little boy to care and love on. I'm still in awe....I'm still trying to pinch myself to make sure it's real everyday. We are so very blessed as a family of three!

He's finally .....

2010-04-20T03:07:00.000-07:00

HERE!!!!!

WILLIAM BRAFMAN PHILLIPS
APRIL 16TH AT 6:49 PM
8lbs 20.5 inches

My hero....

2010-04-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

7 years.....we've been together 7 years this year.....In that time, I have watched a young, fresh faced right out of college boy turn into a man that provides, loves, lives his truth and is the bravest person I know. I've never known someone as selfless as he is, as honest as he is, who gets me to my core and makes me a better person. I've never had someone call out my faults in a positive manner in order to build me up when I can't myself and who lovingly is patient with me even when I know he wants nothing more than to just throw his hands up sometimes. My husband....my best friend, my comedian, my support team, my cheerleader, my brutal honesty, my caring soul, my strong arms and now the father of my child.

This past week, Adam was home from work because his school was out for Spring Break. It was supposed to be his break, his time to relax, his time away for a bit. However, our recent turn of events with little Liam have proved quite the challenge in our house and Adam stepped up in a way that I can never thank him for enough. The plan originally was for me to work up until the baby was born, but some definitely unforseen events have turned the end of my pregnancy into bedrest. The doctor has called it modified bedrest but qualified that as me getting up long enough to eat something and use the bathroom. No housework, no errands, no anything...just laying down....all the time. It's very hard for someone who is used to doing so much and being always on the go to have someone say, "let me help you." I'm so used to giving of myself because I love caring for others and when Adam has been sick, and continues to be sick with his ulcerative colitis or his unending battle with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, I have always been able to say I can do it, you rest, I'll take care of it.
I watched him this week as he selflessly stepped in, stepped up and stepped out of his comfort zone to make this time for me as easy as possible. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, honey do lists, the never ending circle of making a house run. All while dealing with his own pain, gritting his teeth and catering to my every whim even when I tried to fight him on it. I've watched him grow as a leader, the spiritual head of our household and sometimes more recently the emotional rock as I have dealt with the end of this pregnancy and just plain being mean and moody. He works so hard to provide and to care for us and I cannot wait now to be able to watch him with Liam.

Adam is going to be the best father...he will show him right from wrong, how to be strong and step out in faith, how to be brave, when to back down and when to step up, he will encourage him, love him and be his discipline when it's needed. He will teach him how to stand out even in the face of adversity when all of the cards are against him and how to prosper in the end of the experience as a better person. He will show him the world, his love for animals, sports, all things cars, shoes and mountains. Most of all he will show him music....I imagine them dancing in our living room, Liam rockin' out with his daddy to the latest and greatest and still appreciating the finer arts such as plays, musicals, museums and culture. Adam has taught me so much of these things in the short time we've been together and I can't wait to watch him, my hero, become Liam's hero.

Liam is destined to be a football player....

2010-04-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

I'm still writing from bed rest.....I have been doing everything the doctors have told me to do. Lay down, lay down, lay down....sitting doesn't count.....We've had a few adventures over the past week....so as boring as bed rest is, at least it's been somewhat exciting at times.
On Good Friday, we started noticing that Liam wasn't moving at all really. He's normally pretty active, especially at night, right before we head to bed. We called Katie, Adam's sister and my doula, and she asked that I lay down and start doing kick counts for a bit. The goal is to have 10 movements over a 2 hour period and of course our stubborn boy had about 3. So we called the nurse at our office and she said we'd done the right thing by calling. She wanted us to head to the hospital just to get things checked out. So off we went....to the hospital for the first time since our parenting classes. I was really nervous....arriving there made everything very real....I kept thinking thinking this could be it...I could be induced tonight....it really does mess with your psyche a bit. We were checked into triage at around 730pm that night and we're gone again and sent home by 930. They hooked me up to another non-stress test, which am becoming an expert at, and checked Liam's heart. He was doing fine in his breathing,etc. so they felt like because I was showing signs of slight contractions that it was causing me not to feel any movements as well. I hadn't progressed any in my dilation or effacement so they weren't too concerned.
On Monday, we noticed my swelling in my legs/feet had returned even though I've done it all by the book and kept the elevated and stayed off my feet as I have been directed. My BP at home was reaching some funny numbers even after resting as well so we called the doc again and they bumped my appt. from Thursday to Tuesday.
We went in yesterday and met Dr. Rodgers for the first time. She agreed I was swollen again and to keep an eye on it. I had even put on 4 lbs. in just under a week which showed fluid retaining. They decided to redraw my blood work that had been done 2 weeks prior to watch for any changes. I also get the fun task of a 24 hour urine collection starting this morning and until we head back to the doctor again tomorrow. While we were in the office, they decided to go ahead and do another biophysical profile ultrasound (BPP). Liam is now measuring at 7 lbs. 14 oz. and the ultrasound tech said it looks like he's got one big baby buddha belly and short legs...we've got a chunker on our hands and I couldn't be more excited! I keep having to remind myself that technically I still have 2 1/2 weeks left so if I'm not induced before then, our little linebacker will be quite the big boy.
So, that's the update from bed rest for now.....We go to see Dr. Avery again tomorrow and we'll just see what she thinks after blood work comes back,etc.

Liam is stubborn.....

2010-03-31T16:57:00.000-07:00

actually mommy is just impatient at this point. We headed back to the doctor today....Saw Dr. Kelly-Jones who is my typical OB-GYN....She reviewed everything that was done last week.
She agrees that the bed rest is doing its job. As much as I hate it, bed rest is best until Liam decides to make his arrival...so today she put me on it until he comes....whenever that may be. It's keeping my blood pressure down and keeping the risk of preeclampsia at bay for now.....It does go up dramatically with activity-even taking a shower or trying to get dressed is making it peak to abnormal levels. So stay in bed stay in bed stay in bed!!! That is hard to hear for someone who doesn't stop and is used to working hard and being active. I am also 2 cm dilated at this point and 80% effaced...that is up from 1cm and 50% last Thursday so obviously he's making his way down the way he's supposed to. She definitely agrees he's a big boy but she doesn't want to induce me if medically she can keep him growing in utero for a bit longer. I have to remember we're still 3 weeks out from our due date....while she did sort of hint that she doesn't think he'll go for the full 40 weeks she also mentioned we're just at wait and see at this point. While I was there, she also wanted to do another Non-Stress Test to see where things stood. While I was having the NST, I started showing signs of having contractions....now that I know what they feel like when she pointed them out, I realize this has been happening for a few days now.....they aren't big contractions or following any pattern yet but definitely my body showing signs of progression. The only other thing of concern was that during the NST, Liam showed signs of having an arrhythmia in his heartbeat....basically skipping a beat or two from time to time. She said today that the Ultrasound we had last week showed this as well but they don't feel like it's anything to be really concerned about-just something to keep an eye on. Of course Adam and I are freaked out but they reassured us he was fine and just to be sure we're having yet another ultrasound done tomorrow at noon. If the ultrasound shows any major changes then we'll reassess. Otherwise, we don't go back to the doctor again until NEXT Thursday.....oh my sanity! Unless of course Liam decided to make his debut in the next few days which at this point would be quite alright with me. So, there is the latest....this boy is growing like a weed and mama's body is exhausted but we're confident that God has this all in His mighty plan and we know that Liam will come when he is ready.
With love from bed rest.....M

God's opinion....

2010-03-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

When Adam's mom, Nancy, found out she was pregnant with him, it was during a crazy time for our country in the late 70's and early 80's. She told me how uneasy she felt about bringing a baby into the world during this time but that one phrase always stood out to her. She found a little wooden plaque that had her favorite phrase engraved on its surface and this plaque has been a part of the family for close to 30 years now. When Adam and I started dating, I remember going to his mom's house for the first time and seeing this little plaque sit in the window of her kitchen. I specifically remember it catching my eye and my heart and I asked her to tell me about it for the first time.
As the years passed in our relationship, that little phrase on the plaque stayed in the kitchen window sill as family events happened, holidays passed and the first grandchild was born. Adam's sister Katie, had little Aiden almost 4 years ago now and Nancy decided to pass the plaque onto Katie. She asked Katie to keep it safe and to promise that it would go to the next sister, Maddie, Izzy, or Sarah, that would have a baby.
Fast forward 4 years.....
Adam's sisters and mother gave Liam his first baby shower at my favorite little french bakery in Charlotte. Surrounded by loved ones, I was completely overwhelmed at the day....it was everything I could have hoped for.....and then Katie brought out one more little bag for me to open. I watched tears well up in her eyes as she handed it to me. There was always a running joke that she wouldn't be able to give it up....and she said to me, I finally got up the courage to pass it on. It's your turn now....you have to take care of this.
I really lost it at that point....I looked over and saw Adam's mom, Nancy, crying too...knowing that I was now a part of this story...that Liam's story would carry this family tradition on and that I was the next "sister" in line just made my heart swell. I always thought it would go to one of the twins first...Adam's biological sisters...but not me, not a girl who met a boy that happened to be in this amazing family. I am blessed beyond belief and this little plaque holds more meaning because of it's tradition then Liam will every comprehend. From his daddy's birth and now onto his.....we're carrying on God's will in our lives......

As we drove back from Raleigh for our 2nd baby shower, we stopped along the way to snap a few pics....Adam and I were so excited to find that a random church in our travels had used this same phrase on their church sign.....we just couldn't resist.

Friday adventures for Liam...

2010-03-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

On Friday we headed back to the doctor to see what our next steps would be for our little monkey....
As always, he has proven he's gonna be a wonderfully stubborn child....We know this will be a strong point in his personality and are grateful for it. Because of my blood pressure suddenly being an issue, the doctor first wanted to do an ultrasound to make doubly sure that Liam was growing as he should and was having no complications.
He is already 7lbs 1 oz and his head is measuring 11cm or as the doctors put it...he's a big boy. He is actually measuring at almost 39 weeks or about 2 weeks ahead....we had a 30 min. ultrasound and although his movements were perfect they could not get him to breathe a few times while we were there because he was sleeping. In order to rule out any issues there, I was moved to another room for a Non-Stress test where I was hooked up to monitors for 30 minutes to check the baby and any contractions I might be having. We passed the NST with no issues but the doctor was concerned about my blood work. The signs they have continued to look for with preeclampsia are slowing creeping in and he has said at this point it's just a matter of days before you have it. There is really no way to avoid it at this point. They are keeping a close eye on my kidney function because of high uric acid in my blood work....and my continued high blood pressure even after all this rest the past few days. My swelling is maintaining and not really improving even after a night's rest and I'm starting to get headaches that are not resolved with medicine. I am going back on Wednesday to see what the next steps are and until then just continuing rest at home unless of course anything sudden happens in the meantime.
Here are a few pics of my Non Stress test.....

Not the update I wanted to post today but......

2010-03-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

So I have tons of wonderful updates from the past few weeks-We've had 3 baby showers including a surprise one from my coworkers and our wonderful small group. My best friend, Rebecca, is throwing our last one this weekend and we're so excited!
But today, we have an update from a random doctor's appointment yesterday....I've been noticing some serious swelling just starting this week.....the following text is what I sent out to coworkers and some friends so it's pretty broken in thoughts but it will explain all the details best....

ok so when they are looking for preeclampsia in pregnancy they look for sudden swelling, extra protein in urine and certain bloodwork to come back with signs of distressed kidney and liver function
they also look for higher BP than normal
my BP has been perfect if not lower everytime I've been.....when I got in yesterday is was like 150/95 or something which is really abnormal for me....plus I had gained almost 5 lbs. in one week-obviously not all baby so i'm retaining too much fluid....thus the pain in my legs/ankles and the huge "tree trunks" i'm carrying around-they were also concerned and checking to see if any blood clots are pooling at my feet
I have something called pitting edema-basically you can press on my skin and it doesn't bounce back b/c i'm retaining too much.
so they did bloodwork which should come back today and they checked Liam-
Liam's heartbeat is perfect as always at 140 so they don't think he's in distress....but they are doing an ultrasound today as well to make sure. they just think I am having issue that would cause him to come just a tad early and we want to keep him cooking as long as we can. If he came right now technically he'd be full term but there is always a risk of lungs not being quite developed,etc. and he having to be in the NICU for a bit-we don't want that!
She also measured me and whereas my date says i'm only 36 weeks this weekend, he's actually measuring way ahead at 37 1/2 to 38 weeks....so definitely a growth spurt somewhere.....
They checked me and I'm already 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced-which means my cervix is thinned out-that is the most important number-I can sit at a centimeter dilated up until labor but 50% effaced at this point shows things are definitely progressing. She could feel his head yesterday but said he's still got a ways to drop down
So they had me lay down for 20 min and come back and check my BP and when they did it was normal again....thus the bed rest-obviously being on my feet and being too active right now is causing the issue so she wants me on modified bed rest right now in order to hopefully get him to sit tight for a while So basically off my feet all day and laying down-only up long enough to eat and pee-otherwise pray for poor Adam-he's gonna get the brunt of housework,etc. right now. If she sees signs of preeclampsia in my bloodwork today....then they automatically send me to the hospital and he'd have to come out-thus me being induced-not too happy about it but obviously God's plan is way different then our own right now....
The goal is to get me thru next week on bed rest and see if it helps slow down anything and then we'll reassess the induction again. She said this kind of thing happens all the time but if i had waited any longer, it could develop into something called Eclampsia which causes blackout and seizures b/c of all the symptoms. So he is healthy-mama's body is just tired and done-so we have to help support it-is how she described it.....not genetic or anything-can just come out of nowhere...so scary

So a bit of a change....and sudden but hopefully today we will know more....Please continue to pray for patience as we wait to see what our little man decides to do. For strength and patience for Adam as he leads us in a way he's never has before-he's so brave through all of this and his excitement about meeting Liam is infectious! I'll be at home on bedrest all next week-would love visitors if anyone feels the urge to stop by....just give me a call or email!
Love,
Adam, Mandy and hopefully sooner than later, Liam

Liam's piece of the world....

2010-03-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

We're getting close to crunch time with Liam. He's growing like a weed and a very active little boy already. At our 32 week appointment today, he is right on track for his due date and everything is perfect thus far. Over the weekend we headed to our Childbirth Prep Classes and had an awesome experience. Any fears I had are just getting easier the closer I get and Adam has been such a support during this whole process. We are in the process now of working on our birth plan and beginning to prep ourselves mentally, spiritually and emotionally for his arrival. We are both so anxious and excited to meet our little boy.
At our 4-D ultrasound we learned he's got his Grammie's nose (Grandma Stanley) and his daddy's lips. He also loves to have his thumb in his mouth and apparently finds his umbilical cord very soothing by placing it up against his face to feel the pulsating. He pushing the 4 pound mark already-I'm honestly nervously thinking he might be a BIG boy when he's ready to finally make his arrival.

We've also been having a great time putting his nursery together.....I can't wait for playtime in this place and rocking my little one to sleep in his chair. I am so in love already........

Sisters in Christ and in mommyhood....

2010-03-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

Part of the past few weeks has been spent watching anxiously as 2 of my dear friends were awaiting their little ones. Annie and Elizabeth are amazing women that I am blessed to call friends. We've all come to know each other at Elevation and I have truly enjoyed being able to share this experience called pregnancy with them.

I am proud to say they both had gorgeous little girls within just a few days of each other. Annie had Miss Chloe Langdon and Elizabeth gave birth to Miss Leah Elizabeth. Both are gorgeous children who will grow to be true women of God. I am so excited to share this experience with these girls.... Here are a few pics of the most recent adventures while preparing for the babes to arrive.

Finally catching up....

2010-03-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

Whew......what a whirlwind few weeks we've had....My last posts talked about Adam's hospital stay which I am proud to say is long behind us. We have new doctors working for Adam's care and he is on his way to new treatments and new healings.
In the meantime, we moved into a new home....we're so very happy here! We have wonderful neighbors and dear friends who are also sharing in being new parents with us and we're so looking forward to raising Liam in this place. Maggie and Buster especially love the back porch and being able to stay outside in the yard on sunny days and having more room to run. We couldn't have asked for better circumstances....we are so very blessed and somehow God just kept opening doors to get us here so we know this is where we belong for a long while.
Here are some pics of our progress on the house thus far:

Praise during our storms......

2010-01-19T19:18:00.000-08:00

I don't even know where to start....Most of you have been following the past few days with us..what a whirlwind of emotions and unknowns. While we know that God's timing is perfect in all things, sometimes it's easier said than done to have faith in the midst of strong storms. We could not have survived the past few days without each of you.... your loving messages of hope and encouragement did more for us than anything. It means more than any of you will ever understand to know that we are surrounded by people who we not only consider family and friends but dear loved ones in a community that surrounds us. We are both forever grateful for everything...the offers of help, the visits at the hospital, the phone calls just to say hello...it helped us to not think, to live outside the moment and to breathe even if just for a moment. The whole experience was summed up best for me in a moment of weakness I had. After a long 24 hours of no sleep, I was finally given a break by Adam's family to leave the hospital and go home for a minute on Sunday afternoon...I was scared but so hopeful all at once...Adam was still bad and not showing improvement just yet and I just prayed. I prayed out loud in my car...I cried out to God to heal him in ways that we had not yet seen. I asked God to take this crutch from him and to allow him to finally be free from all of this. Free of hurt and constant health issues. And if it was not in His plan to completely heal him just yet, that He would show us ways to use this crutch to help others. To show the ability that God has to turn any situation into a positive even though we may not see it in the midst of our trial. To use our story and Adam's perseverance and incredible faith to help those who might be doubting their own. I was on my way back to the hospital for the "night" shift and suddenly this song came on the radio-I had heard it 10,000 times before but never ever truly heard it's message until that moment. The moment the chorus came on, I began weeping so hard it was hard to drive. But I was weeping not out of sorrow but with renewed strength. I came back and sat in my car in the parking lot at Mercy hospital and wept in joy and cried out the lyrics to the song in my car knowing that God would carry us through this storm and bring us to a stronger place on the other side. Just as He has so faithfully a million times before. I think my favorite line says it all....
"Every tear I've cried You hold in your hand, you've never left my side and though my heart is torn....I will praise you in this storm."

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

We are not out of the woods yet...Adam and I are finally home late on Tuesday night but he still has a lot of healing to do. Continued medications as well as treatment for severe anemia is in order now as well as a bland diet and rest rest rest. I am exhausted and Liam is a bit mad at mommy for not sleeping more...he's fine-it just means he's off his sleep pattern a bit but we'll get back on track.
We are still in prayer over what the next step is with Adam's new position at CMS-obviously his job is still fine however he has to travel for training for the next 2 weeks into Rochester, NY and is supposed to fly out Friday...we're taking things day by day until we figure it out.
We can't thank you all enough-words cannot say enough....
Just know that we are praying for an outpouring of blessings for each of you....and
Love in Him,
Amanda

Late Holiday edition.....

2010-01-15T21:42:00.000-08:00

I'm finally getting a moment to sit and talk about our holidays. We were so blessed this year as my parents and brother were able to come to Charlotte for the first Christmas here in a long time. It was so nice having everyone around....after an amazing Christmas Eve service at Elevation, we joined Adam's family for candlelight service at St. John's. And as tradition goes, we all venture to Nancy's house afterwards for soup/chili and telling Christmas stories along with a fun game of Dirty Santa with all the fam. There was so much excitement this year as well surrounding Liam being on the way soon....He got all kinds of cute stuff from his grandparents and aunts and uncles! We are so blessed! Here are some fun pics of our time together:

I want to see your face...

2010-01-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

Liam,
It's mommy.....I know you can hear me now....I can feel you respond to my voice....I can tell you've grown so much and before I knew it I am now counting down to your arrival. Daddy turned over this morning and woke me up by saying "Happy 7 months honey...." I am so excited to be able to say that. It feels so close and everyday I am in awe of your constant growth and change even though I can't physically see you yet. You've already got quite the personality....you startle pretty easily and you love when your brother and sister, Maggie and Buster, curl up next to you on my belly. I know you'll just love playing with them and in turn, they'll be very protective of you. You are already a huge fan of great music thanks to your Daddy. We want to introduce you to this early because music is such a part of our lives already. I put headphones on my belly and I know you love dancing around to the beats even thought you have no idea the impact the lyrics are having on all of us on the outside. I stand in your room sometimes and run my fingers over the edges of your sweet little bed. I imagine our time together and how it will feel to finally be able to hold you, smell you, take you in...the life we've created....your life. You're already starting to have quite the wardrobe and you're gonna be one cute kiddo in all these outfits. Daddy is really excited about hats and tennis shoes for you....when you meet him, you'll understand why...he's quite the style maker himself and he's going to give that wonderful trait to you. You are kicking frantically in my belly right now as I type this-almost as if you feel the same way....we are so anxious for your arrival little boy...our sweet angel....you're going to be loved beyond words. Until then, just know that we're doing everything we can out here to get things ready for your arrival and to bring you in to this big world with ease. Mommy and Daddy love you monkey!

Kicking off the Holiday season....

2009-12-27T16:13:00.000-08:00

Our holidays started with a bang....We had an idea that we wanted to do something very different this year for our Christmas card and still somehow incorporate Liam into the picture. We looked online for a long time for some inspiration and funny enough it was found in pictures done by pregnant women for Halloween. They had painted their round bellies to look like pumpkins and immediately we knew we had to paint my belly somehow for Christmas. With the help of my dear friend Kevin, we were in touch with a wonderful lady named Margee Halsch (www.margeehalsch.com). She's an abstract artist in the area and came highly recommended by Kevin. I gave her a call and she immediately loved our idea and said this would be the first time for her as well using skin as a canvas. We were excited to see what she might come up with! The end result was so perfect....very cute with 3 snowmen representing Adam, Liam and I. Here's some fun pictures from our day!

Halfway home....

2009-12-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Today Liam is 20 weeks away from coming home.....It has all gone so fast.....I feel like we just found out he was even real and now to feel him kicking and moving just makes me so happy. I lay awake at night now more recently because apparently his clock is already off from ours. But it's worth every sleepless moment....he kicks and moves, responds to my voice and tumbles in my belly like he's doing cartwheels. I don't want this to go too fast because I want to remember every precious kick but I also cannot wait to lay my eyes on his gorgeous face. We have alot to do in the 2nd half of this pregnancy....we still have to find a daycare, a pediatrician, finish the nursery,etc. Most importantly, we have to remember this sweet time in our lives....we've created a life together.... a life that will be with us in 140 days.

An amazing father

2009-12-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

When I met Adam, I had never seen him around a child. We were both so young and so immature and to see him grow into the man he is today has been an amazing journey. The day we found out we were pregnant was the start of a spark in him. I have never seen such joy on his face, such warmth in his eyes....he was about to be a father. I get to watch him now as he talks to Liam in my belly.....I can't wait to watch him interact with his son. He's going to be a father that encourages, that his son can be proud to look up to for example, that he can talk to about anything, that will give him the tough love when he needs it, one who will encourage his dreams and be his shoulder to lean on. A father that will teach him to be strong in his faith in God and to not be afraid to share it with the world. And most importantly, he will lead by example of strength in the face of any adversity able to conquer anything that comes his way. He will raise a strong, christian young man that will make amazing strides in the world.
Recently, he's been getting excited about preparing the nursery for Liam's arrival. Here's some pics of our most recent project....Adam repainted an old table that I've had for years....it looks so great now.

It will sit beside the glider and I'm sure will be the perfect place for wonderful books to read to Liam or the perfect little lamp.

Liam's Nursery

2009-12-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

We want Liam to have a super happy place to sleep in and play. A place where he can feel soothing when he needs it and joy in his playtime. A place of discovery, laughter, restful sleep and growth. We've decided on all white furniture and beautiful green walls. Adam and I have always been huge fans of animals, nature,etc. but we also didn't want the nursery to be "cheesy" in anyway or too themed. We've had a hard time finding a fun bedding with a modern twist but finally found one recently. We're so excited about the bright colors and the subtle hints at animals.

We have a vision of vintage toys that we're currently on the hunt for and fun little touches to decorate the walls. It's still a work in progress but everyday I walk into his room and dream. I dream of rocking him to sleep at night and singing him lullabies. I dream of first smiles, first steps, playtime with the puppies and watching his eyes light up as he learns all the world around him. I can't wait to welcome our Liam into this little haven cut out in our small place in this world. He is going to be one blessed little boy and we are so blessed to be on this journey to get him here.

The surprise weekend...

2009-12-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

Shortly after Adam and I found out that we'd be having a boy...we immediately hopped in the car to drive home to see my family. The original plan was to wait until Thanksgiving but I just couldn't stand the thought of waiting that long. So we piled the dogs in the car and drove the 3 hours to my parents house. As we walked into the house that evening, everyone was so floored to see us-they had no idea at all we'd be coming in for the weekend. Then we gave them gift bags full of goodies to help them figure out the wonderful surprise....
We gave Patrick a neat little book we found:

Inside we wrote Uncle Pat a little letter from his nephew how about excited he was that his cool uncle Pat would be teaching him all the wonderful things that will make mommy cringe. I can't wait to see these two together.....

We also gave Pat a Yankees Pacifier in honor of his favorite baseball team. Daddy and Mama both got bags full of goodies including a picture of our ultrasound with a frame that said "It's a Boy."
We also found these awesome little bibs to keep at Grandpa and Grammie's house.....I just adore how cute daddy is...He was sooooo proud when he found out Liam was being named after him.

Drumroll please........

2009-11-16T16:52:00.000-08:00

I'm back after a whirlwind 2 weekends of travel around one huge announcement. Adam and I were blessed to have an early screening ultrasound at 16 weeks...we were so excited to finally see our little peanut for longer than 5 seconds. It was 40 minutes of pure joy! I've never been more overwhelmed with emotion than I was that day...nervous about possible defects but peanut was perfect. The greatest surprise of all was the moment that the technician said "do you want to know the sex?" We didn't think we'd be able to find out so early and we were holding out until Thanksgiving time to find out and tell everyone. Of course!!! Of course we want to know!
Immediately without even a wince she said "You've definitely got a little boy there!" A BOY???? oh my! Everyone was so convinced it was a girl.....I've never been so amazed and happy and scared all at once. Katie was with us again that day and immediately gave me the cutest little boy onesie out of her purse. What a moment!!! We sat together holding hands for the next 30 minutes in awe of our son. To be able to finally say those words is amazing....God is sooooo good and he has blessed us with a little boy! We watched him dance around my belly...we saw his strong hands, his itty bitty nose, his pouty bottom lip...our son is beautiful.
We have decided to name him William Brafman Phillips and we'll call him Liam for short.
William is my father's name and Brafman is a middle name passed from Adam's grandfather onto him and now onto Liam.
I can't wait to meet you baby boy....You're going to be so handsome....just like your daddy!
I love you Liam!

Dear Prudence......

2009-11-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

We've been crazy busy the past few weeks but this week was quite the exciting one! On Monday, we were able to finally hear our sweet baby's heartbeat....It was such a gift! Dr. Wilson said that Peanut sounded strong at 150 beats per minute.....as soon as she put the dopplar on my belly we instantly heard the most beautiful song I've ever heard and then within an instant it was over.....But I will never, ever forget that melody, that beat, that gorgeous sound.... the first time I heard the life beating in my child. Amazing!
I've also starting feeling our little Peanut start to move in my belly. The best way I know how to describe it to everyone when they ask is it feels like Pop Rocks candy going off in my belly......Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop......Peanut seems to favor the left side and we've also noticed our little Peanut is becoming quite the music connoisseur.
On Tuesday, I was in my boss's office working on a project with her and as always we were listening to her Ipod. My boss has great taste in music...Elton John, Janis Joplin, DMB, Lenny Kravitz, The Stones....just to name a few. But I noticed that our little Peanut has become quite the fan of the Beatles. Whenever a Beatles song comes on, my belly gets super active and as soon as its over the baby is done dancing. It happened 2 days in a row and I just had to tell Adam about our child's growing great taste in awesome music. Music is a HUGE part of our lives....most of our relationship has been spent at concerts for dates, listening to old vinyl, etc. I came home that day to dinner cooking, pumpkin scented oil burning throughout the house and one of our favorite Beatles vinyls playing on the record player. Adam couldn't wait to see if our little Peanut was ready to dance at home too as much as they had at work. Peanut didn't let us down....as we got settled for the night, he/she settled right into the soothing tunes of John, Paul, Ringo and George. If this is a sign of things to come, we're gonna have one awesome little tot on our hands. We can't wait to show our little music lover the ways of the world and most of all introduce them to the wonders of music. One Beatles song in particular seemed to stand out for our little Peanut.....no matter boy or girl, we can't for them to come out and play........

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Look around round round
Look around round round
Oh look around

Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play

What a weekend....Part 3

2009-10-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

I can't fully tell the rest of my story properly only because I don't have all my pics back yet from my b-day weekend but I'll stop keeping everyone in suspense. So, Mama said we had to get going immediately...I thought something is up here but I kept my mouth shut! We got back to the house where Daddy and Adam were waiting to watch me drool over all my new preggers clothes and suddenly I get a phone call. It was my sister-in-law Katie....."what are you doing?" of course I answer back with all the news about my exciting day...until she says, "why don't you take a look outside the window of the house!!!" Standing outside were my 3 gorgeous sister-in-laws, Maddie, Izzy and Katie (whom might I add were "supposed" to be out of town)....next to the most awesome antique car I'd ever seen with a chauffered driver. I screamed, freaked out, asked all kinds of questions.....turns out, Mama and Daddy knew the whole time....they were taking pics like I was at the prom....and Adam was saying over and over...go, get out there, they are waiting for you....mind you, I had not even taken a shower yet that day, flip flops, grungy jeans and ponytail. They were there to wisk me away....we hopped in the car and off we went....our cute little driver, Mark, from Barcelona, was there to take us to our destination in a 1969 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow....All I could say was "who did this?" over and over and it turns out Adam had been planning this for months.....what an amazing surprise! He got me good! We arrived shortly at our destination....a day of mani/pedi's with my 3 favorite girls at Polish Nail Bar! How great was this!!!
I thought this has to be it....but no, the girls put me back in the car and said Mark is taking you to your NEXT destination. I was floored!!!!
I felt like royalty driving thru the city streets of Charlotte in this stunning car.....people looking at me at every light....wondering who I was and what I was about....because this thing was fancy!!! Mark drove me into Uptown Charlotte and dropped me off at the front door of the famous Dunhill Hotel......he said you need to go inside.....and left me at my destination full of wonder and excitement. Then I saw him....my Adam....dressed to the nines, carrying a gorgeous, HUGE bouquet of fragrant pink roses. He was a vision and I immediately started crying...."what have you done?? I can't believe you planned of all this." You could see relief in his eyes and pure joy as his surprise had come together. I was then taken upstairs to our gorgeous suite for the night...he had planned everything....I had all my tolietries, a bag packed, a pretty dress to wear....it was our night together...while my parents (who remember knew the whole time) had come down just for the weekend to see me for my birthday and took the time to stay at our place, order chinese food, watch a movie and keep the puppies. I am forever grateful for that! A night away....our first since finding out the baby was on the way....it was absolutely amazing....I've never, ever had a surprise like it.....We then had an amazing dinner downstairs at the Monticello restaurant in the hotel, we relaxed late night in our room with room service dessert, and woke up early early to watch the sunrise over Charlotte on the first day of my 30th year. Every minute, every laugh, every tear, every smile....genuine, loving and heartfelt...
Thank you Adam......you never cease to amaze me.....you outdid yourself this time baby! Thank you for making my 30th my best birthday yet!
Here are just some of the pics of my amazing day:

What a weekend....Part 2

2009-10-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday was amazing....Mama and I got a great early morning start to a gorgeous fall day in Charlotte!! We were off for a girls day of shopping and lunch. We found a great maternity consignment shop called Womb and found some cute pieces. Here are some pics of me modeling their "fake belly" with my new cute top....

We finished our awesome morning with lunch at Dean and Deluca in Southpark-sat outside in the warm sun with the breeze in our face, warm turkey and brie sandwiches with orange marmalade, fresh fruit...just us girls...it was so fun to hear mama tell me stories all about when she was pregnant with us....her dreams, her fears, her joys....what a special day for us to share together....it made us realize that this baby is truly real....we are so blessed! This child will have the most amazing grandparents....my mom and dad!
Around 2:15 we were about to hit the stores at Phillips Place shopping center and mama looks at her watch "We have to go...right now." I knew something was up....boy was I in for a HUGE surprise!!!!

What a weekend....Part 1

2009-10-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

Well I did it...I made it to 30! I have a big blog to come that I have been thinking about for awhile now just reflecting on my 20's but I can't do that without showing everyone the amazing weekend I was blessed with.....

My sweet parents made the 3 hour trec from Raleigh/Cary area to come see me for the weekend....we had a great dinner out on Friday night at our favorite local spot, Revolution....

This guy works in the kitchen....sang Happy Birthday to me Opera style!! So fun!

Thank you for sharing my weekend Daddy and Mama!

We have quite the dancer on our hands.....

2009-09-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

Our 2nd prenatal appointment was this past week. We met another great doctor in our practice, Dr.Wilson, and we adored her! Katie, my sister-in-law, was also able to come with us. She is a trained doula and will be us through the whole process so we were really excited to include her! I made it through all my blood work and we were in for a great surprise! Dr. Wilson had enough time in her schedule to give us a surprise ultrasound!
We can definitely see our little peanut growing now....arms, legs and heart are all showing up now!
The best part of it all was that Peanut was moving all over the place-dancing up a storm!
Here's a close up of the baby......

Finally becoming a reality....

2009-09-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

We took another test just so we could see it in print...sometimes it's unbelievable......

...and at 11 weeks, I'm finally starting to show...Hello baby!

Lots of activity around Baby

2009-09-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

We got really ansy and had to finally buy some outfits for our little one...neutral of course for now but sooo cute!

I can only hope Baby Phillips gets these moves!!!

2009-09-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

So Incredibly Blessed......

2009-09-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling the past few weeks....the hardest part of my first trimester has been they way I've been feeling. More than anything I'm just exhausted all the time...I'm so used to having loads of energy. Also, the morning sickness aka afternoon sickness aka evening sickness has been pretty rough. I haven't yet been sick to my stomach *knock on wood* but just nauseous all day everyday. I should now own stock in candied ginger from Trader Joe's, ginger ale, saltines, Tums, Maalox and the ever stylish Sea Bands to wear on my wrists. It's been super tough on me so I know it's been super tough on Adam. I am so grateful for my husband. He hasn't complained yet...he has just picked up where I am not able to. Somehow magically where I would normally do all of our laundry, it's folded and put away before I know it. I came home one day to find a little magic wonder from heaven vacuuming our floors...my new friend, Rumba! A huge help when I'm asleep on the couch after a long day at work and the last thing I want to think about is how much dog hair I need to clean up. Dinner cooked, dogs fed, "Honey, sit down, relax and let me handle things." All of this considered, he still hurts, he still has EDS everyday all day...but for now, the baby and I are number one is his book and he's willing to put his pain and frustrations aside to help me out when I am not able.
I really thought how can it get any better, how can I deserve so much when I'm able to do so little right now.
Well it got better....the other part of these past few weeks is suddenly out of nowhere, I find myself struggling to fit into my clothes....not near maternity clothes yet but certainly not able to button my normal size pants....that's hard on a girl when you're already feeling sick and yucky!
Leave it to Adam....I walk in after work last week, he's cooking dinner.."Honey, there may or may not be a little gift for you in that closet over there! I'm just sayin'..." I squealed in joy! What could he have done???
I opened up a bag full of goodies.....A gorgeous brand spankin' new pair of black flats for work, 3 really cute and colorful shirts to help me transition out of old clothes and into my new body, my first maternity tank top to help me layer into the fall season and the gift of all gifts, my Bella Band! It's been such a blessing to still be able to wear my old pants to work that I love without having to worry about the pressure on my growing belly because the stretchy band is holding them in place for me! Best product ever! I'll get plenty of use from it as I continue to grow this little munchkin' as well as post-baby body while I'm trying to transition back to my old clothes....
You've outdone yourself baby....I am in awe of you every single day...your energy, your strength, your supportive nature, your kind words that make me feel gorgeous in the midst of all these crazy changes happening...You're gonna be one hell of a father. You make me proud to call you my partner in crime.
I appreciate it and I know our little peanut does too...

PS.....I have not gotten near as big as the belly in the picture....do not be fooled readers, I'm not quite there yet!

My mom is gonna be the best Grandma ever!!!

2009-09-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

Here is a video of our other "babies" enjoying their treats this morning from back home....Mama sent them to CLT with Uncle Pat and they are happy happy! Thanks Mama! Love you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrdQxPbRyos

Here's our little peanut....

2009-09-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

We had our first ultrasound and it was amazing.....We were able to stand in the same room watching our little gift and it's heartbeat. 135 beats per minute....Strong according to Dr. Stephens....Peanut doesn't look like much yet but I can already imagine daddy's nose, my eyes, a combo of our smiles and stick straight, bleach blonde hair like we both had when we were little.....I can't wait to watch you grow little one...I love you so much already!

We're so happy to finally be able to share our good news!

2009-09-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Adam and I found out we are expecting our first child! We couldn't be more excited! This little blog will serve as a home for our stories, adventures, trials, ups, downs and everything in between as we go on this journey called pregnancy!!!!!